i'm a hypocrite.

i love romantic books, and yet, i don't want it to be done with me.
i'm a hopeless romantic who has fears and worries constantly.
the last song, by nicholas sparks. it's like any other book.

i feel like a little girl.
i try not to ask for a lot.
i wish so many different things.

today on the train ride home,
a friend goes, "you never tell us what you truly want. what do you want?"
though she meant it due to christmas coming,
that's how i am.

i don't want to be bothersome.
people say it isn't.
some people deny the fact that it's a burden.

it's always hard to believe them.

fact: i stop myself.
no matter how hard others tell me i shouldn't
i comfort them and let them in for a limited amount of time.
then, i'm shut.

i want to feel like i'm loved.
all those romantic books i've read,
they are my fantasies, dreams.
but a dream can only go so far.