stupidity.

i am dumb. stupid. and this is unlike me. why am i like this?
i made plans, and ended up hurting myself twice & my family. i should stop.
i told myself it would stop, and it hasn't.
i'm angry. i'm having self-doubt.
i need to learn to balance it all ou :/
i need to earn my mom & sister's trust
o hana means family.
ironic, it was my number 1 priority. and now, i changed.

my brother kinda made me feel better. still i'm disappointed. sad. my sister bought the tickets, and we didn't see the movie. my brother paid for it. for god sake's my mom came to watch also, and i didn't go. because of my boyfriend. it's time i learn to schedule myself. and pay strict attention to it. no more distractions. i need to try harder.

all it takes is my heart. to decide what is important. to fix myself.

i'm going to take a few weeks. to go to the old me. i'll celebrate my birthday later. in order for me to have fun, i need to understand myself, and be the way i was before.